Emotional Intelligence

The movie we viewed in class illustrated ten ways to improve one’s EQ. These pointers included:

1.Listen to how you talk to yourself.
2. Use your thoughts as instructional self statements.
3. Be aware of your intentions.
4. Observe your behavior.
5. Learn to relax.
6. Generate humor.
7. Become a good problem solver.
8. Practice the power of positive criticism.
9. Listen to the message of emotions.
10. Make tasks underwhelming.

I can honestly say that there are a few of these pointers I could use some work on, but if I had to choose just one it would have to be making tasks underwhelming. I have the tendency to overanalyze situations. I realize that this happens the most during a heavy semester. If I have a full class load consisting of five classes that administer an overwhelming amount of assignments I tend to make the smallest assignments seem impossible. Instead of just evaluating the list of things I have to get done, and systematically getting each task completed one after the other, I often times stress and exhaust each of my tasks. This habit of mine only seems to make matters worse. I not only stress myself out, but I waste more time panicking than I do getting my work done. I have spent an endless amount of time on the phone with my friend just complaining and venting about the amount of work I have to get done. Thinking about this now if I had just used that time to work on my assignments I would have been helping myself in the long run.

The video mentions that it’s important not to over think. A simple tip is to take a few minutes a day to worry about the task at hand, rather than committing an extended amount of time. I tend to the latter with my 30-45 minute venting sessions with my friend. If I just learn to allow myself to engage in a healthy amount of stress, brief moments over a greater number of time, it will be to my benefit.

Interpersonal Communication and Conflict

It is only natural when engaging in  interpersonal communication that a conflict may arise. It is extremely unlikely that an individual can manage to have a relationship with another person and share exactly the same values, ideals, and opinions. Because we as individuals are so unique and different from one another we are bound to butt heads at times.

When it comes to conflict I am not the kind of person to generally initiate or feed into confrontation. For me it depends on how strong a relationship is for me to decide whether or not to engage in conflict. If a peer or person I have no strong relationship towards, has a disagreement with me I generally let it go. I suppose I feel that confrontation is necessary when dealing with people that hold a high significance in my life.

When faced with a confrontation with a freind or family member I tend to prefer to confront someone rather than pretend that nothing is wrong. Some of the strategies that I use when faced with confrontation are empathy and "I" messages. I think in order to really resolve a conflict it is vital to make it clear that you understand why the other person feels the way that they do. This allows the person that you are in conflict with to see that you are acknowledging their point of view, rather than dismissing it.

I use "I" messages constantly in casual conversations, so it's second nature to incorporate them when faced with conflict. This is a strategy that has been drilled into my head as early as elementary school, and it works. Using a "I" rather than "you" alleviates the feeling of blame. When faced with a confrontation it's easy to place blame on the other person, but constantly placing blame causes the other person to shut down. It's easier to get a person to listen and hear you out when you address your own feelings and thoughts, rather than attempting to address the other person's.

Self Disclosure and Social Networking

 Social Networking sites like Facebook enable people to connect. This tool has enabled me to keep in contact with family members and friends that I don't necessarily get to see on a regular basis. Through this tool I am able to not only communicate, but share pictures and videos. This use of Facebook is one that promotes a positive use of technology, however this tool is often used to promote other negative behaviors.

As I have mentioned Facebook has allowed people to connect and sometimes reconnect with absolutely no negative reprocussions, but people are beginning to find many new uses. While looking through my own group of friends I have seen behaviors that don't seem to be the ideal ways to use this piece of technology. People attack eachother and have long drawn out arguments on their public walls. Often times these fights begin to delve into personal information that does not need to be exposed to the world.

In addition to arguements a feature that a lot of people have been using is the "count down." I have seen people have a count down on the side of their Facebook notifying how many days until their 21st birthdays, weddings, and even pregnancy due dates. I don't find this to at all be offensive, but it does seem to get a little too personal. Just glancing through my friends Facebooks it's clear that they have hundreds of "friends" online, but how many of those people are really your friends. Or rather how many of those people need to know when your bundle of joy will be arriving.

The article, "Social Networking: Are we revealing too much?" specifially mentions how employers and even college coaches are taking a closer look at Facebook pages. A friend of mine prior to an injury, use to play for Wesley, and had a serious issue when it came to Facebook. I remember him sending out a mass message to everyone asking us to untag him in any pictures that included alcohol or red cups. He made it clear that his coaches were checking the players Facebooks, and he had already witnessed a player being repremanded and punished by having to have a  more extensive practice due to the photos found online.

I had forgotten all about that up until now. Looking back it makes me realize that it doesn't even matter what a person posts on their own Facebook, but that you have to take into account what others may volunteer about you. You may not even be the one self disclosing about yourself, but rather one of the hundreds of "friends" or rather acquaintances you have online.