The interaction adaptation theory suggest that individuals simultaneously adapt their communication behavior to the communication behavior of others. This is something that I have started to really become more aware of when communicating with others. In order to really push myself and gain a broader perspective I decided to analyze three conversations that I have shared. Instead of relying solely on my interactions with people close to me I have decided to use interactions with a friend, family member, and a customer from my workplace.
My first conversation was with my best girl friend. I knew right away that this interaction was going to reflect th strongest display of the adaptation theory mainly because we are so close. The setting of out conversation, at bar, had a huge effect on the way we conducted our conversation. At times I would say something, and without vocally telling me that she couldn't hear me, I could tell. Her facial expression of unsurity was enough for me to realize that I had to repeat myself. My friend filled me in on the drama of her life, and with the more serious issues her tone and body language completely shifted. The more heated her tone became, the more relaced I attempted to make my own. Given the setting it was no place for her to get to upset and angry, so I almost unconciously tried to calm her down with my tone rather than fuel her fire.
Reflecting back on this conversation there were a number of instances where the two of us worked solely off of our nonverbal communication. This excercise emphasized that the stronger the relationship the more a person is able to adapt with little if any force.
My second conversation was with my five year old nephew. We were sitting at the kitchen table and or topic of converation was geared around his homework assignment, practicing the number 3. When speaking with my nephew I automatically tend to speak slower and demonstrate patience when waiting a response. As he was finishing his homework I asked him to rewrite a few of the numbers because they weren't his best work. Without saying a word I knew by his wrinkled forehead that he was not happy with my suggestion. He began to rub his eye, and make a face of aggravation. I instantly changed the tone of my voice to be mroe soothing and relaxed. I asked him if he felt that these numbers were his best, and compared them to the previous set. Without saying a single word he began to erase and redo the final few numbers.
Looking back on the amount of actual dialogue that happened during this conversation I realize that there wasnt much at all. I was able to read my nephew's facial expressions and body language, and adjust my means of communication accordingly.
While working the customer serivice counter at my job I was faced with a disgruntled customer. The gentleman approached the desk with a quick pace, annoyed expression, and receipt in hand. I knew instantly that this customer had some kind of complaint. The customer wanted to know why his items weren't coming off at the sale price. After looking over the receipt I quickly realized that they were coming off at the sale price, but may have caused confusion because the savings didn't come off instantly but rather at the bottom of the receipt. While trying to explain this to the customer they cut me off after hearing me begin to express that the savings did come off. This man's tone was very sarcastic and rude as he pointed to the prices indicating that they were not the sale price. As I tried to explain he began to throw a tiny fit. Realizing that patient and sweet personality wasn't getting anywhere I changed my tone and spoke in direct, brief statements. I took the receipt and pointed tot he savings, and even demonstrated that he did get the right price with a calculator. When realizing that everything was Okay I smiled and shifted back into my upbeat happy tone.
The interactiong with the customer made me realize that I am more willing to take charge with a complete stranger than with people I know well. This may also be due to the fact that I knew that I was right, and wanted to put the customer's complaints to an end as quick as possible. Another factor that contributed to my change of tone was the initial way that the customer addressed me. I initially tried to use kindness to cool things down, but after realizing that that strategy wasn't getting me anywhere I had to make a change.
Overall after analyzing these three conversation I have come to understand that I attempt to adjust my own means of communication to adapt to others. For all three scenarios I focused mainly on tone. I like to think that this is because I have an understanding that sometimes it's not what you say that matters, but how you say it.
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